Neelima held the sari gently in her hands, turning it over and deciding that the colour did quite suit her. Saris had never been her garment of choice but lately she had taken them up with quite a passion. Chalk it up to Rakesh’s influence, she thought.
She was ready to face what the day had in store for her, and the buoyancy of her feelings convinced her that for once she was truly happy. Never before had she smiled at the silly romance films that played on TV, or looked at couples strolling hand in hand in the streets with a conspirational smile.
Life had changed for her- taken on new layers and meanings. Ever since she had let herself fall for Rakesh she had felt safe, loved and above all whole again. Her erstwhile negative demeanor had been shed and in its place, a woman, very much secure in her life had taken root.
Rakesh has been gone so long, she thought. She remembered their last meeting, the way he met her at the station, holding a few orchids in his hand. That day had been blessed with the right weather for memories to be made- the soft cold breeze against their cheeks as they walked hand in hand to their special place.
Their place was a small room in an apartment block that had once belonged to Neelima’s grandmother, but now was a storage place or guest room as and when Neelima’s parents required. Not a spacious room, it was only made special by the slanting sunbeams that shone through the corrugated windows. It had become her dream place, a place she had spent delicious hours with Rakesh, planning their future together.
“Will you love me when I’m old and fat?” was her favourite question to him. His answers changed with his mood- sometimes he’d laugh it off and say she would remain young and beautiful forever…other times a strange expression would settle on his face and he’d look deep in her eyes and whisper ” I can’t imagine a day when I won’t love you.” then he’d kiss her softly on her eyelids and pull her close towards him.
She recalled the one night they had spent together-absolutely, delightfully together. They had had a quiet dinner and spent the evening out. Hurrying home, they hung twinkling lights and made love all night to the their favourite songs.
As she walked down the road, she saw a sparrow flying overhead. She watched it for awhile, remembering how he had once told her he was like a frog in a small pond, and she was like the bird that had captured him and allowed him to fly. “The funny part is he gave me wings. I never let my heart fly until I met him,” she thought.
That last meeting stood out in her mind because it was that day that she realized how he had changed her and how enamored she was with him. They may have been from two different worlds- he was from a conservative, orthodox mold whereas Neelima was encouraged by those around her to think independently. Yet somehow each time they kissed all their differences would melt away-“like snow fall in a desert…” with me being the snow of course!” she laughed to herself.
That’s how she felt- like a puddle… Her days had melted into one long blur. He had become everything- the reason for her to breathe. The scary part was that he didn’t even realize the gravity of this. Her heart was uplifted at the thought of seeing him- he understood her in a way no one had- and saw her for her true self.
Each step she took was bringing her closer to him and in every step, a new memory of him lit up her way. Like when he first met her and stood aloof as he was sure she was not his type, but once he opened himself to her, his life had opened up too. They had tried so many things together, shared so many firsts. He was the first man she had been intimate with and this intimacy had opened her eyes to how close you could be with someone. To trust someone to look and be with you, to show your body and soul fully naked, was the biggest gift and the scariest experience to share.
She remembered their first date- how he had tried to stay away from her because he was sure there could be no future between them… but as they held hands and sipped coffee in Connaught Place, they knew they fit perfectly. From there, they had fallen further and further in love. A mad, passionate love- one that consumed them both. He wrote her poems, drew her portraits and loved making small, romantic gestures to make her smile. It was what she loved about him- the simplicity of his actions, the love in each line he sketched on his paper, the honesty of his words.
Everything reminded her of him…every verse of her favourite songs, the first ray of sunshine on her face every morning, the metro rides she took, the smell of Connaught Place. What she loved was the shared joy they had for creativity- his paintings and her writing. They often joked about how one day she would be a famous author and he would be her official illustrator, the Imroz to her Amrita.
He had seen her through the darkest of times, her health scares, her fears, and she had held him when his stressful family situation got the better of him. They were more than lovers, they were soul mates and best friends and she couldn’t imagine a day without him. He often promised her that he would never leave her, that no matter what happened, he would never lose her.
She enjoyed spending time with him, like she hadn’t with anyone else. Those days were the bright spots of her month, and she longed to see him again, hold him to her and kiss him tenderly. She felt complete with him, like a puzzle where all the pieces fit . It was a safe, assured feeling and one that has made her stronger.
She knew every inch of him, loved him for every perfection and imperfection. He was the only human she had loved more than herself-“and now, there’s another person to love on the way,” she thought, patting her belly. For all their fights, and the drama they faced, she would not trade him for anything.
As she reached the restaurant, she spotted his scarf. That familiar blue striped pattern reminded her off winter outings to art galleries and book fairs. Her heart smiled and she waited for him to spot her. As their eyes met, she saw his flicker with happiness, and then with fear. “That’s odd,” she thought. At the corner of her eye, she noticed a sparrow flying in a cage. It was looking for a way out, flapping its wings hysterically, wanting to be out of its confine.
“Rakesh!” she yelled. As he walked nearer, she noticed he was walking hand in hand with someone else. “Neelima, meet Ratna, my wife. Ratna, Neelima’s an old friend.” “Nice to meet you,” the young girl said.
Neelima was speechless. All her dreams came crashing down and before she could say anything, she ran…ran as fast as she could. Not knowing where she was, or what had happened. She never imagined the love of her life would marry someone else, even though she knew his parents were never in her favour. She ran, losing track of where she was. She never heard the tires, horns or realized what hit her, before it was too late.
EPILOGUE
It was like waking from a deep sleep… Neelima didn’t know where she was. All she could see was inky blackness. She yelled but no one was there. Suddenly, she saw a flash of light and realized she was in Rakesh and her special place. “Rakesh?” she called out hopefully. She turned over and there he was, smiling at her like nothing had happened.” I told you I’m yours and I’ll never leave you,” he said and kissed her forehead.
‘This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with RRE Studios and ShowCase Events.‘
Touched ;(
Thanks Tulsi!
Phew!
Thank God it was a dream! I would have been heartbroken to see these lovers split. Such beautiful writing, Meetali.
Thank you 🙂
So beautifully written. I felt so bad when i read rakesh married someone else. Thank you for finally opening up it as a dream.
Thanks so much
Oh thank God, just when I was bracing myself for a terrible ending it all turned around. Lovely weaving of words, Meetali!
Thanks so much!
The ending felt more like together forever, something like after life nothing can separate the 2.
That’s very true!
I don’t like sad endings… thankfully it was a dream but so vividly you’ve portrayed it Meetali… loved reading it and it gave me goosebumps.
Thanks so much
Beautifully written! loved itt!!!
Thank you !
I am floored with your writing, Meetali. absolutely loved it. The best part was the epilogue. I am a die-hard romantic and would have been crestfallen if it wasn’t happily ever after.
Thanks so much for the kind words! Glad you liked it!
Lovely take on emotions and feelings. Your words captured the essence of love and lovers. One confusion though, i thought she died and the epilogue was like a part of heaven. Am I right or was she dreaming?
Hey Zenobia! I am a morbid sort so yes she does die. However, I see many people seem to enjoy a happy ending so let’s just say it’s like Schroedinger’s cat and both possibilities exist (much like parallel universes!)
The fears of our subconscious mind manifest themselves in our dreams. I was hooked to your story.
This is very true, I often find myself dreaming of my worst fears
Thank God it was a dream or it would have been heart-breaking. You write really well. I was absolutely hooked and I am looking forward to reading more fiction from you.
Thanks so much 🙂 Glad you enjoyed it
Such beautifully penned, it has evoked madrid of emotions. Loved the ending and happy that, that was the ending otherwise I would have been heartbroken.
Thanks so much!
The epilogue was beautiful! The ending made me want to run out to Neelima. Poor thing imagine living your life without your soulmate. So relieved it was a dream.
Yes, this story delves into one’s worst fears, thanks for reading it !
What a lovely story thank God it was only a dream
Thanks 🙂
It was a dream… I’m so relieved. I’m just so relieved.
Thanks!
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This piece sure had me invested. Glad you added that little epilogue. Your blog is indeed a find, Meetali. I love the range of topics you blog about.
Thanks so much 🙂
Human mind is complicated, with blind love arises insecurities and our dreams are just a representation of our inner insecurities. Beautiful story.
Love and feelings are lovely,,, I have always backed off while convicting
Thank God for the twist at the end. I loved it!
I was quite angry on Rakesh to leave her for some other girl but, The twist came in right on time and i love them both again for being together and for keeping their words.
Wow beautifully penned. Loved the twist at the end. Lovely write up.
This is very interesting. My interpretation of the epilogue was very different from what I read in the comments, and now I’m wondering if you deliberately left it open-ended, or it’s a reflection of me! I thought she died, and in the flash before an afterlife, she remembered them happy together. But everyone else says it’s a dream, so perhaps it was!!